[ yosuke you are such an overthinker but if you won't call it stress than tobari supposes that's a win. at least it doesn't seem like a negative thing? so he'll keep eating his noodles ]
[ he is in fact an overthinker about this kind of thing. ]
I guess... [ ... ] I thought maybe Yu was an exception and it wasn't a liking guys thing. Except I asked to kiss another guy and it wasn't terrible, so like... [ he shrugs and sips his broth to think on this. ] I don't know. I said it was like practice to even see if that was a thing I could do, and he had just complained about Hak being a terrible kisser and I just kinda said it and now here we are. [ a pause. ] Pretty sure he has a crush on a different guy, too, but hadn't totally realized it either.
... so once again, you might just like some guys and the world isn't over.
[ he thinks yosuke knows that. but also stating it for the record. the sky isn't falling and the world isn't turned on its head just because he might be bi. ]
As for the practice thing—that's fine. It can work out. But it can also be kind of a pain, depending on where things go from here. I've dealt with both results.
I might like some guys and the world isn't over, even if it might be when I get back. [ he does not believe for a hot second it'll be easy, but it's fine. he's at least panicking a lot less about it. ]
Shut up. It's not all over just because you had your tongue in a guy's mouth.
[ YOSUKE!!!!!!!! ]
A pain in the sense of if your communication is bad and you don't talk about where you're both at emotionally. You can't read each other's minds, so it'd be bad if someone caught feelings just because you enjoy being close to someone but the other person doesn't, and then you don't know how to move past it.
Do you have to say it like that? [ stop being a weenie, yosuke. ]
We, uh... haven't actually talked since then. Been kinda busy. [ he has not, they just haven't. ] I'm pretty sure it's not like that since I'm the one who asked him, and I'm not into him like that, but uh... good to know for the future, I think.
[ ... ugh. ]
Why are there so many unspoken rules about this crap?
They're not actually supposed to be unspoken. Anyone worthwhile romantically knows how to communicate. People are just shy because of egos or fear of rejection. But you can still be good friends that make out sometimes—but part of being good friends is talking shit out. Don't lose sight of that.
[ nudges yosuke again ]
And if anyone does start to develop feelings, take a break from the physical stuff. Or else you'll get more confused down the line.
[ he makes a face because like yes, that's part of it. nudging back anyway. ]
... he's a cool guy. I like hanging out with him, even without the making out part. I haven't decided about the making out part? But it was, like... it wasn't bad.
[ he looks at the ceiling though. ]
Maybe it wouldn't be as weird if I didn't think about the part I might see him again in the future.
... it's one of those things that's only weird if you make it weird, but if it's the first time you've really been that vulnerable with someone, it'll probably feel awkward at first. People talk about physicality like it's all just headiness and impulse, but there can be a lot of trust involved.
[ especially for little novice baby gays like yosuke and whoever this other guy is ]
You don't have to do it again if you don't want to. But if you do, just make sure you talk about it. Avoiding it will only make things weirder.
Yeah, it was... awkward for both of us, I think, since he wasn't expecting me to ask and I don't think I was either. But I trust him. There're some things he gets that nobody else would, so it kinda made sense to try this, too.
[ ... ]
Isn't it weird to want to do it again if I like somebody else though?
People approach intimacy and physicality differently. I don't think it matters if you kiss someone without feelings involved as long as you're both on the same page, but I'd be more careful with someone I was actually into.
But sometimes, it really is just stress relief. Where I'm from probably colored my viewpoint on things, though.
[ people did all sorts of physical things without being actually emotionally invested all the time. sometimes you sell love an entire experience ]
this is definitely a thought and will be a thought he carries forward, but he seems to be contemplating. ]
Whenever I see him again, I guess we'll talk about it if he seems like he wants to. No point bringing it up if he wants to pretend it didn't happen in the first.
You can say something like "we can skip over this if you don't want to do it again" but if you're both too mindful of each other's feelings, you're both going to not talk about it even though you both want to talk about it.
Not that I'm only coming to you to dredge up your old memories, but I know I can trust you to actually tell me the truth. [ hrgh. ] I don't know, Ryuji's like... I'm pretty sure he was into it but the "why"'s what I don't know about and I have a feeling if I ask he'll just kinda combust.
It's fine to experiment because you're friends, but he shouldn't recklessly rush into things with someone he cherishes in the future. He should know himself first. For both his sake and theirs.
Kinda the point of practicing, yeah. [ ... ] He has his own Yu. Name's Akira. Pretty sure he hadn't thought about it until I said something, but when I talk to him and he starts telling me about what Akira means to him, it sounds exactly the same.
[ so he figured he would help. "help." ]
I thought maybe I was reading into it, but he kissed back so I doubt it.
... yeah. Probably on a similar wavelength but just never considered it. But I'm serious in not getting so caught up in trying to help him that you lose sight of your own relationship boundaries.
That's how you get into a mess.
[ HE REALLY HAS TO BE CAUTIONARY ABOUT THIS oh yosuke... it's fine if you get into a mess... but as an older brother he has to say it, even if he's not followed ]
[ he doesn't think he's meant to answer the thought, but: ]
We're from the same place, he's just, like, five years ahead of my time.
[ so you know. shit's weird. ]
But I get it, I know. [ ... ] If anything it kinda made me think about the Yu thing more. I know what my boundaries are, I think. [ "still kinda dumb to be figuring it out right now, but we do have downtime." ]
... I'll talk to him. Later. Whenever I see him next. [ he is busy sinking down into the mattress though. ] Hopefully this is the last time I'll have to bring this bullshit to you.
[ because regardless of everything... it is embarrassing and he feels bad. ]
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So you're stressed out because he's a him and simultaneously not the guy you're here for?
[ just
point blank shot in the dark why not ]
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I wouldn't call it being stressed out... [ it's a weak-ass protest though. ] But yeah, I guess that's a thing that happened out of nowhere suddenly.
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[ yosuke you are such an overthinker but if you won't call it stress than tobari supposes that's a win. at least it doesn't seem like a negative thing? so he'll keep eating his noodles ]
So? What're you thinking about it?
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I guess... [ ... ] I thought maybe Yu was an exception and it wasn't a liking guys thing. Except I asked to kiss another guy and it wasn't terrible, so like... [ he shrugs and sips his broth to think on this. ] I don't know. I said it was like practice to even see if that was a thing I could do, and he had just complained about Hak being a terrible kisser and I just kinda said it and now here we are. [ a pause. ] Pretty sure he has a crush on a different guy, too, but hadn't totally realized it either.
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... so once again, you might just like some guys and the world isn't over.
[ he thinks yosuke knows that. but also stating it for the record. the sky isn't falling and the world isn't turned on its head just because he might be bi. ]
As for the practice thing—that's fine. It can work out. But it can also be kind of a pain, depending on where things go from here. I've dealt with both results.
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... what... [ hm. ] A pain how, exactly?
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[ YOSUKE!!!!!!!! ]
A pain in the sense of if your communication is bad and you don't talk about where you're both at emotionally. You can't read each other's minds, so it'd be bad if someone caught feelings just because you enjoy being close to someone but the other person doesn't, and then you don't know how to move past it.
But even that's workable, for the record.
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We, uh... haven't actually talked since then. Been kinda busy. [ he has not, they just haven't. ] I'm pretty sure it's not like that since I'm the one who asked him, and I'm not into him like that, but uh... good to know for the future, I think.
[ ... ugh. ]
Why are there so many unspoken rules about this crap?
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[ nudges yosuke again ]
And if anyone does start to develop feelings, take a break from the physical stuff. Or else you'll get more confused down the line.
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... he's a cool guy. I like hanging out with him, even without the making out part. I haven't decided about the making out part? But it was, like... it wasn't bad.
[ he looks at the ceiling though. ]
Maybe it wouldn't be as weird if I didn't think about the part I might see him again in the future.
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[ especially for little novice baby gays like yosuke and whoever this other guy is ]
You don't have to do it again if you don't want to. But if you do, just make sure you talk about it. Avoiding it will only make things weirder.
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[ ... ]
Isn't it weird to want to do it again if I like somebody else though?
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[ tobari shrugs ]
People approach intimacy and physicality differently. I don't think it matters if you kiss someone without feelings involved as long as you're both on the same page, but I'd be more careful with someone I was actually into.
But sometimes, it really is just stress relief. Where I'm from probably colored my viewpoint on things, though.
[ people did all sorts of physical things without being actually emotionally invested all the time. sometimes you sell love an entire experience ]
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this is definitely a thought and will be a thought he carries forward, but he seems to be contemplating. ]
Whenever I see him again, I guess we'll talk about it if he seems like he wants to. No point bringing it up if he wants to pretend it didn't happen in the first.
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Bring it up.
[ firmly ]
You can say something like "we can skip over this if you don't want to do it again" but if you're both too mindful of each other's feelings, you're both going to not talk about it even though you both want to talk about it.
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Fine. It doesn't have to be right now, right? [ like he doesn't have to go do it right this second. let him hide here instead. ]
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No, it doesn't. But don't forget, and don't kiss again without talking about it.
I'm trying to save you from my old mistakes.
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Not that I'm only coming to you to dredge up your old memories, but I know I can trust you to actually tell me the truth. [ hrgh. ] I don't know, Ryuji's like... I'm pretty sure he was into it but the "why"'s what I don't know about and I have a feeling if I ask he'll just kinda combust.
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[ it was good for yosuke, obviously ]
It's fine to experiment because you're friends, but he shouldn't recklessly rush into things with someone he cherishes in the future. He should know himself first. For both his sake and theirs.
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Kinda the point of practicing, yeah. [ ... ] He has his own Yu. Name's Akira. Pretty sure he hadn't thought about it until I said something, but when I talk to him and he starts telling me about what Akira means to him, it sounds exactly the same.
[ so he figured he would help. "help." ]
I thought maybe I was reading into it, but he kissed back so I doubt it.
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why is it so hard to just be gay? ]
... yeah. Probably on a similar wavelength but just never considered it. But I'm serious in not getting so caught up in trying to help him that you lose sight of your own relationship boundaries.
That's how you get into a mess.
[ HE REALLY HAS TO BE CAUTIONARY ABOUT THIS oh yosuke... it's fine if you get into a mess... but as an older brother he has to say it, even if he's not followed ]
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We're from the same place, he's just, like, five years ahead of my time.
[ so you know. shit's weird. ]
But I get it, I know. [ ... ] If anything it kinda made me think about the Yu thing more. I know what my boundaries are, I think. [ "still kinda dumb to be figuring it out right now, but we do have downtime." ]
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Huh.
[ just. huh. ]
... but alright, so long as that's the case. Go and have fun, even if it's dumb.
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We're the same age here, shut up.
[ no!!!! ]
... I'll talk to him. Later. Whenever I see him next. [ he is busy sinking down into the mattress though. ] Hopefully this is the last time I'll have to bring this bullshit to you.
[ because regardless of everything... it is embarrassing and he feels bad. ]
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but he'll nudge yosuke again ]
You can bring it to me again. [ easily ] I accept the noodles as offerings.
Better than you keeping it all to yourself or getting shit advice because maybe two other people around here have been on a real date.
[ it's kind of hilarious ]
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